Healing Hearts
A Newsletter For Kids By Kids

Children of Seperation and Divorce Center, Inc. / Columbia: 410-740-9553

At our September Peer counselor meeting, we asked our peer counselors to write about what it means to them to volunteer at COSD Center. Laura and her daughter Amy, who volunteer at COSD Center, wrote this article together.

If you are anything like me, sharing your time between mom and dad is the easy part – fitting in time with my friends is hard! I got stuck in a rut last year of doing nothing but go to school, come home, watch my brothers, do homework and then have family time. I had to cut back on my sport – dance four days a week, to watch my brothers. I started to feel angry that I rarely did anything for myself, like hang out with my friends or go to dance classes. Once I got angry, it was like a bad cycle started. I would be in a bad mood and take it out on my mom, dad and brothers. That made them pretty defensive and annoyed around me, which, (you guessed it) made me more angry and resentful.

Things turned around over the summer when I worked with a counselor. She helped me to identify what was upsetting me and to communicate it to my family. I let my parents know how I felt and what they could do to help. Now, I go to dance twice a week. Even though I still watch my brothers, they have responsibilities that they are accountable for at the end of the day. My parents are both a lot more laid back about letting me go with my friends on the weekends. The cycle of anger in my family reversed itself, and now I feel like all my respect, love and attention is returned by my parents and yes, even by my brothers.

If you feel like you are missing out on your life because you are really wrapped up in responsibilities at home, my first piece of advice is to try talking about it with a counselor or friend. Another change that helped our family and might help yours is trying to empathize more with each other. Before starting an argument, think about what the other person has been through that day and what they are experiencing at that moment. You might be surprised at how your response may change. One other more simple but important point that helped us was diving up responsibilities more evenly, having a monthly family meeting, and making an agreement with time for me in it a priority. I hope that some of my advice has been helpful and that you are able to make some positive changes in your life too!

Kidshare November 12 and 19

Parentshare November 12 and 19

National Family Resiliency Orientation: Contact the center for times

Here is a mystery word find! See if you can find the words listed below and then guess whom they describe.

Word List: Help, Care, Volunteer, Work, Present, Speak, Listen, Inspiration, Try, Accomplish

W P J L L I S T E N T N V C X Y U
O R E N E C P R E S E N T I B R O
R E C L O D K S I S O Q T P E J  E
K S I N I S H U R E  G R L E S R E
N E P C B E B A R S V T R Y  R R
S N T O M N E M P Q E V M C H P
H T I N S P I R A T I O N V S W Q
I  E O R U H E L P S P E A K N I L
N A O U L O I P C N O L P R C B I
E T S M A C C O M P L I S H Y D
V O L U N T E E R N S T H E H F
M O V  Y E C A R E M D S L E D I

Laura writes…Almost three years ago when I came to COSD Center after finding myself facing divorce, I was unable to see beyond the moment, the day, the week. Having COSD as a resource for my three kids and myself was a true gift. COSD became a stabilizer and a constant in such an unstable time.

Flashing forward to the present, I find myself still gaining strength by offering time as a peer counselor. It helps me to recognize how far I have come while being able to feel that I am giving others the kind of support I received. I find that the peer counseling aspect of my life is coming more and more into play outside of COSD events – in the workplace and in social settings, where others who are going

through divorce cross my path. It is easy to see, from my now distant position and better vision, how easily children become the background of divorce. Being able to help parents, whether on a soccer field or at a parent panel, to remember what they may have forgotten really makes me feel good.

Amy writes…It was probably one year ago, maybe two that I’ve been a peer counselor. The reason I like being a peer counselor is because I can help people who have gone through what I have. Also, I like the kid’s panel. What I am getting out of being a peer counselor is learning with other people. I like being a peer counselor because I help others and learn things at the same time.

Volume 2, Issue 8 Page 3 of 3

My counselor helped me to identify what
was
upsetting me
and to communicate
it to my
family. I let
my parents
know how I
felt and what they could do
to help.