Healing Hearts

Children of Seperation and Divorce Center, Inc. / Columbia: 410-740-9553

School’s Out! What a great time of year to be a kid! No more waking up early, no more cafeteria lunches and no more homework! Along with the excited feelings about having some freedom and fun times ahead can also be some mixed feelings about saying goodbye to friends, teachers, after -school activities and a predictable routine.
Following any change, kids and teens may feel a little sad, excited and maybe worried about what will come next. Especially for kids or teens moving from elementary school to middle school, from middle school to high school or from high school to the next step, missing the old way of life and wondering about the new will be an important theme this summer. We asked our peer   

counselors to share the ways that they cope with major transitions in their lives. Their suggestions follow.

Express Thanks. Thank the people who made a difference in your life with a note or homemade gift. You may feel pretty good about yourself for being considerate and thoughtful while you’re at it!

Keep in Touch. Exchange email addresses and phone numbers with your friends to help you keep in touch over the summer. It takes more effort to get together and call when you don’t see each other every day at school, but it is worth it.

Celebrate your accomplishments.

Continued on page 2

Healing Hearts/ Volume 2, Issue 3 / Page 2 of 3

Child Feels Less Important By Michael, 15. In the beginning, the child is well-noticed by the parents. As time goes on after the separation, he feels less important.

School’s Out, Continued from page 1

Go out for ice cream! Take a rainy day and re-read some of your best work from the school year or watch a video of a game or play that you excelled in.

Take a closer look at your worries and concerns. List the things that you worry about for the summer and after. If you are worried about something you have no control over, such as what teacher you will have next year or whether your first college roommate will be nice, talk your worries out with people close to you. If you are worried about something you do have some control control, such as relationships with friends and loved ones or choices for your career after school is over, try listing some of the actions you can take to make positive changes in your life.

Let parents and friends know what is on your mind so that they can help you. Sometimes people fall into the trap of getting angry with their friends and family for not saying or doing the things that they need without telling them what they needed in

I feel forgotten sometimes. My parents fight over me all of the time but they don’t actually seem to want to spend time with me. J.P., Montgomery County, MD

Dear J.P.,

That sounds really hard for you. Their are other kids who share some of the same feelings. You may feel some relief by reading “My Neglected Self” on page three or the cartoon above.  Both contributions have a theme of feeling forgotten and lonely.

 Would you please let me know that you are listening to me?”

If you are worried about how a parent will react to you asserting yourself, try talking to a trusted family member or counselor first. They will know you and your parents and may be able to offer more specific advice. The important message for you to take away is this: You are important. What you say matters.

Take good care of yourself.

My Neglected Self

Tell me how to cope
My life is up in smoke
Deep in the recesses of my mind
Is there anyone of my kind

There’s always hope cause things change every now and then
All my hope is washed away when I feel the same crying pain
Once more I find the courage to try But all over again
My spirit dies, I’ve been forgotten, My neglected Self

Trust is an issue I cannot trust in
Every word of trust is a delayed sin
The human mind does not allow
To keep a simple vow

There’s always hope cause things change every now and then
All my hope is washed away when I feel the same crying pain
Once more I find the courage to try But all over again
My spirit dies, I’ve been forgotten, My neglected Self

Swarming at the speed of light
My thoughts show so much fright
This is all because of you
Why did you put this on me?

(Solos, chorus, rhythm)

Selfish, one track, minds I deal with
I am, done with, putting up with this
Now it’s, time to, end this insanity
I’m, sick of, this lifestyle it’s going down!
 

 Sometimes parents get caught up in their conflict and they forget how their actions may affect the kids. As long as you feel safe with your parents and able to share your feelings, you might want to try to let them know how you are feeling. Think about what specific actions make you feel unimportant. Try to bring them up in a constructive way with your parents. For example, You might try, “I feel like what I say doesn’t matter when you intrupt our conversation to answer the phone.

Celebrate Your Accomplishments

the first place. Let the people close to you know when something is on your mind, and also let them know how they can support you.